Three months… three months and everything is so different. After I met up with Dom for coffee I sent him a message to thank him for giving me a little bit of his time, he never wrote back. Somehow I was glad and appreciated that he didn’t reply. I liked that he didn’t string me along into what could have been another emotional cyclone. Although I still had so much more I had to say to him, I was happy for the time we got together. Weirdly enough it was the closer that I needed. I think because above all, I know for sure that he is happy.
With having that in mind I packed my bags and booked a flight. I needed to clear my head and I knew I would find peace with my sister in Portland. Little did I know that it would only add more confusion.
When I had first gone to Portland in 2016 not only did I fall in love with the city, but I fell in like with a man. He was everything I was looking for, besides 500 miles in between us. He was older, had lived life, educated, handsome, wanted children, and he was extremely charming. Time stood still. I don’t know if it was because I was in a new city but with him, everything felt more magical. More than ever I wanted to make Portland my new home, I just needed to make a few more arrangements and then a move to Portland would be final. I had already gone back to work at Express, to make a transition that would make a move a lot more easier. He was showing me what my life in Portland could be like. The night ended after he dropped me off at the door with a simple kiss on the cheek. Respectful, but he left me knowing I was interested.
Once back home we texted back and forth for the next year but decided to keep it just friendly because of distance. He wanted me to live life to make sure that he was what I wanted when I got to Portland. Everything was going according to plan until I decided to make a change in my career. I had gotten a job in optometry. With this new job I would have to stay put for another two years in Reno.
As soon as I landed in Portland I messaged him letting him know that I was in town. within seconds he responded, “I can’t wait to see you.” Due to opposite schedules we finally met up on my last night there. When we did, it was as if a whole year hadn’t passed by. The only thing that was different is that we were both older and wiser. If he wanted me to live life… well I had done so since I last saw him. Our 2 hour time slot for that night had easily became 6 hours spent together. Between drinks, dinner, a show and a tour around town… we lost track of time. I needed more time I didn’t want the night to end but I knew my sister would start getting worried and I needed to catch a flight back early the next morning. This time at good bye, I received a real kiss. A kiss that was full of wants, needs and passion. The kiss was perfect, but perfect didn’t take away from the fact that we still had ANOTHER year we would have to wait before we could still be together.
I am scheduled to go back to Portland in March for my sisters birthday. I am ecstatic as can be because every time I go back, I fall in love with the city even more. That is where my heart is. The culture, mystery, the sites, the atmosphere, I love it all however my heart is not with Patrick anymore. I have a boyfriend who I fall for more and more each day here in Reno… my current home.
To Be Continued.