He’s Just Lonely

What is it about us wanting what we can’t have? Is it the chase, the challenge? What’s the obsession with wanting to have the out-of-our-league-guy, wanting more money, more time? It seems like it’s always more, more, more. I have tried to figure out the answer for what seems like forever, and I still have not come up with a logical answer.

I have wanted it all, the love, passion, honesty, the perfect guy. Just when I think I’m about to reach it, it always get gets pulled away 10 inches from my finger tips. So I ask myself, How much more until I learn my lesson? How many more times do I have to go through this shit before I can finally yell, ENOUGH?!? Will giving up make me a jaded person? Lately I felt like I’m just setting myself up for failure, so it’s hard not to think those questions. I certainly don’t enjoy getting hurt, so why do I always go after the unobtainable? One of my biggest fears is being alone, so shouldn’t I be okay with settling and not wanting to see if the grass is indeed greener on the other side?

With all these question in my head, I had do vent to my best friend. Being my best friend she’s always had the ability to listen until I’ve let it all out, nod her head, and then share with me her thoughts. This time though, she whipped out her phone and said, “Listen to this song.”

I tried to look at Anna but all I could see was a blurry silhouette. She is no stranger to seeing me cry, but I did what I thought would disguise it, I started to just laugh. It was a nervous laugh, but at least it was better than seeing me cry again. The song had hit home. To my surprise she started to laugh as well.

It’s like the song to our life.” She said.

I have been trying to date this guy, and because of insecurities and personal schedules, we just let each other go. I should be upset, I should be devastated, but as the song says, I’m not a stranger to the leaving, I have heard the best good byes. I then thought to myself. Wait, but there is a difference, I haven’t been in love in a LONG time ,therefor the song can’t be my life.

“Miguel, this song reminds my of you because you don’t settle. You would rather be lonely then to be with someone that doesn’t have a special place in your heart regardless of how great they treat you, you value love. Not only do you have a big heart, but you have an honest heart.” Everything made sense,  I have been asking myself all these questions all this time, and it took a song and some words from my best friend.

So what is it with us wanting what we can’t have? Could it be that we fear being lonely. Certainly I’m not lonely with incredible friends like Anna. Society has definitely put an ideal picture of perfect, so are we striving for that? One thing is for sure, no matter how perfect a situation may be, if you’re not happy then it’s not your perfection, it’s someone else’s. Everybody’s of happiness is different, your green might be someone else’s greener.



11 thoughts on “He’s Just Lonely

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  1. Do you still feel this way? Its like you and I were the same person. Its easy to walk away. For some reason, we seem to be looking for the first reason to run so that we don’t get hurt

    1. I do. I’m glad that I’m not the only way that thinks this way. I was starting to come to the conclusion that I was abnormal. My hearts gets all warm and fuzzy knowing that you at least found someone who loves you for you… including those very flaws that makes us abnormal.

        1. I live in good old Reno, NV. I moved here for school 9 years ago. Since then I have graduated and started a career. I know I need to move since there is nothing holding me back besides my friends whom are like family. I have been thinking about moving to Portland this next year. My sister is now going to school there. Starting a new adventure with her by my side would be a little less lonely and a lot of fun!

          1. Definitely. i was in Dallas for school as well. Losing my job was the best thing to ever happen to me as I moved to Chicago which is where things started to click for me. You should seriously consider that move though

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